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karma works the nightshift [entries|friends|calendar]
i rule

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uhh? [01 Oct 2009|03:32am]
hey, so, its been years...anyways. if anyone would like to get into contact with me, email me at derrikbattaglia@gmail.com lets talk.
3 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[26 Apr 2007|03:08am]
i am still alive.
i am still able to breathe.
i am still.
3 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[11 Oct 2006|04:21pm]
i am still alive.
life goes on.
4 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[24 Feb 2006|11:22pm]
everybody around me, probably you too, is happy being unhappy.
9 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[07 Feb 2006|07:57am]
becoming a better human being is a lot harder than i had anticipated.

its hard to dicipline myself into not doing things i relied on SO MUCH in the last nineteen years of my life, and to being things than i am so unfamiliar with. for example...

im staying away from binges
im staying away from drugs "for the hell of it"
i am staying away from excess, not only with substance but with foods, technology, possessions etc.
no more envy and jealously, no more rivals and grudges.
no more disrespect and jumping to conclusions, no more lies or deciet, no more this, no more that.
i am learning to love myself, rather than loath my day-to-day life.
i am learning to embrace each moment becuase each moment is new and unique.
and blah blah blah...you get the basic idea.

i am not giving myself rules, but guidelines inspired by ridiculous things. religion, morals, science, media, drugs, well-being, etc. this is a process that will take my entire life. instead of living for the future or because of the past, i want to start enjoying my time on earth.

i have spent nearly twenty years of my life letting myself be what i feared and have only now realized the only way to be free is to become fearless, to become beautiful, to become good and loving while remaining skeptical and wary, to keep sight of everything i see.

im not planning on a complete change overnight, and i dont really expect anyone to understand what i am doing, this is for myself, this is for the lungs behind my ribcage, the brain beaneathe my skull, the heart thats pumping blood through my veins. not for you, or anyone else. but for this guy, right here.
7 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[13 Jan 2006|08:02am]
here we go again.

so i ask myself...

why do today, what i should have done yesterday?

my inner-voice is left unheard.
1 stab wound| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[06 Jan 2006|09:47pm]
in the space of a few days ive gone from loving life and complete happiness to full on self-loathing and a anger towards everything.

i am going crazy.

there is no other explanation.
2 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[27 Dec 2005|09:55am]
i have been slowly, but steadily, improving my life. i have begun to investigate my life for clues on how to achieve true happiness, analyze situations, learn valuable knowledge, read more important books with more revilance to my situation blah blah, i have stopped living in the now and start living in the present with a conscience sharpened to help shape my future, etc etc. becoming a better human being, phase one.

i didnt think it would actually work, but what do you know. ive been a happy person lately, i havent had that in a long time. i think its going to last simply because for the first time since ive been alive and conscience to know what effecs me, i can really reflect and learn internally.

i must sound insane.
7 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[23 Dec 2005|06:21am]
"what the fuck? holy shit! jesus christ, why the fuck is---shit!"

imagine my surprise when i peered through my window to see two humans, that closley resembled two wilderbeasts, within plain view of my precious peepers, were actually grinding their horrible grotesque human masses of skin and hair together in a fashion that would strike fear into the heart of even the devil himself.
1 stab wound| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[19 Dec 2005|10:07am]
being alone is unhealthy.
6 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[13 Dec 2005|07:52am]
woah.


i need to stop this super intense schedual before i die.
1 stab wound| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[11 Dec 2005|03:27pm]
its been nineteen years.

i want to start seeing a different person in the mirror.
3 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[10 Dec 2005|06:37am]
ive begun phase one to my path of becoming a better human being.

im not sure what phase two is, but i must not ready for it yet.

there is so much learning to be done, im excited.
1 stab wound| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[03 Dec 2005|12:05am]
i work seventy hour weeks and have lost a major portion of my immune system to over exposure to awesomeness.

i like coughing, really.
2 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[02 Dec 2005|08:09am]
i live a really lonely life.

fuck that, i need to get out of here.
1 stab wound| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[29 Nov 2005|06:00pm]
are you living life, or are you simply just breathing?
2 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[29 Nov 2005|06:32am]
i am a good human being.
i am a bad person.

get that straight.
if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[27 Nov 2005|02:12am]
to keep up for the overnight shift at work i have been consuming massive amounts of a particular energy drink, this drink is "monster", not too popular amongst its energy drink peers "monster" is still quite a potent elixir. presented with the challenge, i attempted to describe the rush my brain felt once the effects began to take place. after a few minutes of waiting my asshole perks up and then....FUCKING CHRIST, it feels like i let a pack of rabid dogs into my brain, to top it off somebody dowsed the poor animals with hairgel coupled with an awful stench not too stray from garbage and fecal matter. this may seem like an odd way to explain a taste, but this is not simply a taste to amuse your tastebuds, but rather it is an experience that must be met with vigor and an absolute need for the answer to the meaning of life.
1 stab wound| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[24 Nov 2005|04:37pm]
ive developed a habit of hiding my phone from myself during the holidays.
1 stab wound| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

[22 Nov 2005|09:26pm]
horrible things keep happening and i cant keep track of them.
3 stab wounds| if it makes you happy, you can cut me

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